In defense of an underrated Christmas Film, Pt. I

I am currently drinking tea, eating caramels, and watching Gremlins. Though 3 a.m. on a weekday is probably far too late to excuse any activities that don’t include either (1) an actual celebratory-type event, (2) actual other humans, or (3) actually, just being 12 at a slumber party, I feel perfectly okay about all of these things because I just completed my final [however half-assededly assembled] assignment of the semester, and it’s almost Christmastime.

So maybe it’s just the holiday-tinted rosy colored glasses talking, but I cannot BELIEVE how much of an underrated Christmas film Gremlins is. I might even go as far as to posit how much of an underrated cinematic experience Gremlins is—except I can’t think of anyone who could fail to appreciate at least a few of the film’s finer points of pop culture currency and/or fantastical appeal.

Though it’s directed by Joe Dante, who has helmed some of my dark horse favorites, Gremlins has the delightfully comforting narrative arc of a classic Spielberg joint [incidentally, I’m not sure if you can call anything a “joint” if it hasn’t been directed by Spike Lee.] I’ve turned it on because Lizzy posed a compelling Gremlins-based query earlier in the week [“Zack Galligan: hot or not?”] and I wanted to do some further research. Plus I love pretending mogwais are real, and I don’t care if means I’m a dork. As far as the Galligan hypothesis goes, so far I’m thinking he’s kind of a poor man’s William Ragsdale. [Unless William Ragsdale is a poor man’s Zack Galligan?! Which I guess depends on where your ultimate nostalgic sympathies lie.] At any rate, here are some great things about Gremlins:

1. The Mogwai [Gizmo, NOT the gremlins] – this is taking lovable, reality-challenging 80’s puppetry to new heights. As aforementioned, mogwais being real would make me happier, I think, than the real life incarnation of any other animatronic puppet. And again, it might be my exceptionally optimistic vacation self [full of caramels] talking, but when Gizmo starts to sing from his little box in the shadowy Chinatown “curiosities” shop [essay on Orientalism in Gremlins forthcoming], it just fills my heart with happiness. In short, it’s a genius work of fictional, robotic adorableness.
2. Corey Feldman AND Judge Reinhold – both are in this film. Which isn’t surprising, per se, but as something I had forgotten, it’s been a pleasant little discovery lending credence to the idea that Reinhold and/or Feldman were required to be in every movie ever made in the 80’s.
3. The score – the theme song for Gremlins is an American Movie Classic. Which might be why this movie is on AMC, even though it has Judge Reinhold and Corey Feldman in it.
4. Zack Galligan. The more I think about it, the more he is hotter than William Ragsdale.
5. I think the gremlins actually kill people? At least, one of them just did a number on the science teacher. This isn’t a great thing about Gremlins in and of itself as much as it’s a pretty impressive feat in a movie that manages to still come across as nostalgic and dear. The confusingly sinister ambience is a great instance of dark comedy-meets-fantasy-meets-horror-meets-holiday-family-film. Are you listening, Four Christmases?? Honestly, it’s like nobody tries anymore…
6. Keep him out of the sunlight. Keep him away from water. And whatever you do, do NOT feed him after midnight. This is not only the stuff crappy tee shirt slogan writers’ dreams are made of, but also a just a classic gem of cinematic Americana that I hope will benefit me someday in bar trivia.
7. Did I mention how stinking adorable Gizmo is? He’s like a precursor to Wall-E, without as much stigma about the planetary destruction humankind will inevitably wreak in our not-so-distant future.
8. Christmas – I forgot until the opening credits rolled that this was a Christmas movie. In general, I am a pretty consistent supporter of Christmas movies [except for when they’re not even TRYING to wring out any authentic visceral reactions. It’s a Christmas movie, for chrissake, it’s not like its HARD to make people feel whimsical and lovey, but Four Christmases? Really??], but I think the Christmas-ness of Gremlins is often overshadowed, by, well, the gremlins. This film really capitalizes, though, on the creepy yet simultaneously twinkly and magical things you can do with nighttime snowfall, icicles, Christmas lights, carols and phonographs, and tinsel.

To conclude, Gremlins has a lot more going for it than just the gremlins, even though Zack Galligan, alas, made very little of his post-Gremlins career. Ultimately, I just always find it encouraging when movies I loved as a child still have the power to enchant, and when I remember that things can be funny, endearing, and traditional without insulting our intelligence or appreciation of excellently crafted sight, sound, and color. [The gremlins just fell in the swimming pool. Chiaroscuro awesome!]